How to: stop an infant from crying almost instantly

As a new parent (my son turns 10 months old this week!) it can be easy to let a screaming child start to get under your skin and cause your stress level to rise. My son has been sick and teething over the last little bit (sorry for the less-frequent posting) which means he has a short fuse: whenever he falls on his diaper-padded bum no one knows whether it will trigger an ear-piercing cry or be completely ignored. I’m sure there are many out there who can relate.

However, there is one time in a young child’s life when you KNOW he or she is going to be wailing: getting their shots. Prior to taking my son to get his first round of vaccinations my saint-like mother gave me the following advice:

“Try comforting him and if it doesn’t work after a minute or so, walk out of the room with him and he’ll stop.”

It worked just as my mom said it would. My poor son was bawling after receiving three shots in each of his chubby thighs. After the nurse wrapped things up we put his clothes back on him (still crying), walked out of the doctor’s office and into the hallway. It was like someone flipped a switch: he instantly stopped crying.

Since then we’ve used the same trick and it’s worked countless times, though less for “fussy” crying and more for, “I just fell down and scared myself” crying. You know, the freaked, out, top-of-the-lungs cry. Our apartment is small enough that we have to walk outside to get it to work, but it does work.

Someday he’ll probably get to the point to where it doesn’t work. I fear that day. But until then, the simple act of carrying him into another room has done wonders for my nerves. I hope it proves beneficial for you at some point in the future as well.

LivSimpl

P.S. If you know someone with a small child please feel free to pass along this tip!

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No, that’s not my son. Photo courtesy of here.

How to manage less by reducing more

I have a confession: I quite enjoy trying to figure out ways to do things more effectively and efficiently. This comes as a shock, I know. I could spend a good chunk of time exploring methods, systems and hacks in an attempt stay organized and simplify things. I’m not sure why I find so much pleasure in it but I do, and it’s all in the name of simplicity!

That being said, I think I (and possibly others) can get caught up in the method or system of trying to manage everything we do instead of thinking of ways to reduce the number of things we have to manage in the first place.

What can you eliminate?

Step back and look at everything on your plate. The items on your to-do list may seem overwhelming. Take a breath, step further back, and look at the source of those to-do’s. Instead of going after the to-do’s, attack the root of the problem by looking at their source. Which obligations can you remove yourself from, either through delegation or resignation?

Take an honest look at what yo have going on. It may be wise to take a half a day off work and think about it. Examine each obligation thoughtfully and ask yourself, “Is it worth it? Why did I start doing this in the first place? What’s the benefit to me? To others?” You may find you have a lot of things you can quickly cut. Other things may take a little more reflection. But the important thing is to cut back until you feel comfortable managing what remains.

How to keep it from coming back

Once you’ve brought your obligations down to a manageable level, you must jealously guard your newly realized schedule/agenda/radar to prevent it from spiraling out of control again, and you must do this without guilt.

When the next “thing” comes up, vying for your time, you have three options:

1. Accept and replace. Whatever this new opportunity is, it’s important enough that it should replace something on your list of obligations. This means you have to eliminate one of your current responsibilities, and it has to be something of equal proportion! You can’t accept a position as a member of the board of a charitable organization and make the kids walk the dog in the morning instead of you.

2. Sincere apologies. Find the most tactful and sincere way to say “I’m sorry” and say it with confidence. “Sorry, I have quite a bit going on and I wouldn’t be able to give that project proper attention, but that you for considering me.” Don’t let yourself feel guilty over this! You’re not slacking! You’re ensuring you’re able to fulfill your prior commitments. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

3. Space available. Perhaps your circumstances have changed. Maybe little league has ended and now you have five more hours a week you can, and want, to commit to a new project or responsibility.

It’s important to remember that every waking moment doesn’t have to be spent doing something for somebody else. For example, just because there’s space on your schedule after dinner On Thursdays doesn’t mean you have to join your friend’s roller derby league. Time for yourself and time with family are very real obligations, perhaps the most important of all. Don’t squeeze so much in that you don’t have time for them.

The result of this exercise? A more manageable schedule where you have less stress and more time to enjoy the things that truly matter to you.

LivSimpl

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this idea. Drop me an e-mail at LivSimpl at gmail.

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Image courtesy of here.

How to give purpose to your spring cleaning

The seasons are changing! Or at least they are where I live (today should be a balmy 44 degrees). That means it’s about time to consider packing up the winter gear, be it clothing or lingering winter decorations.

Generally, I find the process of packing and unpacking seasonal gear to be somewhat annoying – just something else cluttering my to-do list. Until relatively recently, I was all about shoving it in a huge tupperware bin and sticking it in storage.

Now, I take a little extra time to go through all my winter stuff and ask myself these questions:

Did I wear or use this item this winter?

If so, did I wear or use it enough to justify keeping it another year?

If not, when was the last time I actually used it?

If I’m honest with myself, and get over the weird nostalgia I have for some of my lesser-used items, I can collect a nice pile of stuff that would be better served going to a second hand store or donation center rather than a storage closet. Check for organizations in your area who take winter clothing (or any kind of clothing) such as women’s shelters and homeless shelters. If you can’t find one, or don’t know how to find one, a local Boy Scout troop would most likely be more than happy to assist.

Going through this exercise biannually (I wrote about this idea about six months ago in less detail) has a number of benefits:

It helps keep your clutter under control. Less “stuff” is always preferred, especially when it’s not being used! It’s such a wonderful feeling knowing you’ve trimmed the unnecessary from your life/home/environment. I’m enough of a geek about this that I get a bit giddy when I can easily close a dresser drawer that was once overly-packed with clothes I rarely wore.

You’re doing it at a convenient time. You don’t have to make a special event out of decluttering. You’re pulling out your stuff anyway, so you might as well make the most of the opportunity.

Less to deal with. Well, you’ll have less to deal with next Fall.

Serve those less fortunate. By donating your used items to charity, you’re helping someone else stay warm (or, in the case of festive decor, enjoy the holidays a bit more). In some cases your donation may be tax deductible too. Check with the individual donation center to find out for sure.

While it may take a bit more time to make the transition from winter to spring, the benefits of sorting through your stuff and asking yourself those three questions are well worth it.

LivSimpl

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Image courtesy of here.

Taking requests

As I’ve sat here pondering what I should write about it occurred to me that I would probably be well-served to ask you which topics you’re most interested in reading about! I’ve created some general categories that I think most of my posts fall into and there are some links to sample posts under each category to serve as references.

Please take a minute or two, check out the linked posts if needed, and leave me a comment with your opinion! (I’ve also put a poll at the top of the right column.)

Everyday tips
Posts about topics like how to make doing laundry easier, why your check engine light is on, and simple ways to protect your identity.

Technical tips
Spend less time managing e-mail, take advantage of online bill pay, online to-do lists, other resources, etc.

Perspective posts
Personal thoughts. For example, how humility, character in old stuff, and small gifts can create a simplified life.

Other
What did I miss? Is there another type of post or topic you’d like to see here? Consider this an open request line.

Let me clarify that I’m not running out of ideas for posts. I just want to make sure I’m addressing topics that are of value to you.

I’m excited to hear what you think!

Thanks,

David

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Spend less time wandering in parking garages: an easy way to find your car

It’s amazing how easy it is to forget where you parked. I’ve spent more time wandering around in a parking garage looking for my car than I’d care to admit. There was even an entire Seinfeld episode that took place in a mall parking garage. (If you’re not familiar with it, click here. Start at about the 2:59 mark.)

So what’s the simplest way to remember where you parked? Pull out your cell phone and take a picture of the nearest color-coded pillar. Simple.

You may even want to go so far as to snap a shot of which mall entrance you used. Sometimes I remember I came in through, say, Sears, but I can’t remember which door in Sears. Was it men’s wear or large kitchen appliances?

Oh. And please remember to delete the parking pillar pictures on a regular basis or someone is going to be checking out your cell phone and think you either have a really bizarre sense of what constitutes “art” or you’re insanely boring.

LivSimpl

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Consumers cut back on small purchases – USA Today

According to USA Today, consumers are cutting back on small pleasures and purchases. One reason is because of the current period of economic uncertainty. The other has more to do with one of the goals of this particular site. A quote from someone they interviewed: “I’m working on becoming more of a minimalist. It’s a relief to have less.”

Bingo.

A couple more applicable quotes:

“The new status isn’t how much you’ve got, but your ability to show what you don’t spend.”

“The murky financial outlook and recession fears are factors. Another driver: fear of being out of step with a cultural mind-set that increasingly says less is more.”

In my opinion “living simple” isn’t about achieving some kind of perceived social status, I’m still happy to see that there appears to be a trend toward the simple. The article covers a lot of ways people are cutting back including some ideas that have been covered here such as packing a lunch instead of eating out. It’s definitely worth a read.

It also makes me wonder, are you cutting back because of financial worries? If so, what kind of cuts have you made?

LivSimpl

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7 Ways to Simplify Your Writing

This is a guest post by Loren Blinde of Writing Power. Loren teaches college English, and she launched Writing Power to help people enrich their lives by improving their writing. Feel free to contact her at loren@writingpower.net

Many people begin to pursue simplicity in part to make their lives easier. They resolve to pare down their possessions because 1) less “stuff” is easier to manage, and 2) with less clutter, they can find the items they need with less trouble.

But as an individual continues to practice simple living, intangible benefits begin to surface. Simplicity is a lifestyle choice. Simplifying helps a person to clarify his or her values and priorities: by not keeping a lot of other junk, a person can emphasize that which is truly important to him or her. Achieving simplicity also indicates that a person is at peace with his or her life rather than holding on to the past. Moreover, achieving simplicity requires deliberate action and effective decision-making, two signs of a strong character.

Simple truly is beautiful. So, why stop at simplifying our homes, our schedules, and our finances? Why not simplify our writing as well?

I propose that simplifying your writing can have a dramatic effect on the level of happiness and meaning in your life. Simple writing is deliberate and clear-headed. Simple writing emphasizes the important. Most of all, because readers have to do less mental work to extract meaning from a simply-written piece, simple writing is productive, efficient, and powerful.

To achieve simplicity, a writer must pay attention to two things: 1) removing clutter from his or her writing, and 2) presenting the essential material clearly and effectively. The following seven tips will help you simplify and enliven your prose, whether you’re writing in an academic, personal, or professional context.

1. Toss Wordy Phrases: certain phrases are like clutter. They add little to your writing, but they always seem to find their way into it. The good news is that you can usually cut them right out of the sentence or replace them with one word. For example:

It is evident that wordy phrases deaden writing.
Wordy phrases deaden writing.

What happened was I slipped.
I slipped.

In each case, the second sentence is punchier, more direct and forceful. To help you recognize this verbal clutter, I have compiled some examples. For more, check out Strunk and White’s famous guide, The Elements of Style.

The question as to whether = whether
Due to the fact that = because
In a haphazard way = haphazardly
Liberty is a thing which = liberty is

2. Don’t Overuse Prepositions: sometimes, these little words are indispensible. The problem occurs when too many prepositional phrases latch onto a sentence. It becomes difficult to wade through them. For example:

The reason for the weather is the moisture of the air from a low pressure system that started over the ocean.

An oceanic low pressure system caused this humidity.

To help you in your weeding, here is a partial list of prepositions: at, around, over, under, through, to, of, for, by, from, on, out, in, between, among

3. Trash Passive Voice: in active voice, the sentence’s subject does something. (“The boy hit the ball.”) In passive voice, the sentence’s subject has something done to it. (“The ball was hit.”) Passive voice is generally undesirable because it is less precise, and often it obscures the doer of the verb’s action altogether. (For a detailed explanation of what passive voice is, what’s wrong with it, how to spot it, and how to fix it, check out this post.)

4. Prefer Vivid Verbs to Adverbs: adverbs are generally unnecessary. As writers, we often think that our prose may not have the same ring without a good adverb. I certainly understand this perception: even though I know they aren’t as cool as they sound, adverbs are one of my worst writing habits. But compare these two sentences:

She was very upset by her performance at Friday’s game.
She was devastated by her performance at Friday’s game.

Which one sounds stronger to you? Or take this example:

We could understand her because she spoke clearly.
We could understand her because she enunciated.

Which one sounds more specific?

The first four tips focused on what to remove to simplify your writing. Now that we have gotten rid of the junk, we can move on to stage two of simplification: organizing. The next five tips will help writers enhance readability by arranging sentences in the clearest, most reader-friendly manner possible.

5. Keep related words together: modifiers (both words and phrases) belong next to the words they modify. Check out this example:

I broke my shoe’s heel on the curb, which was really expensive.

What was really expensive? The shoe, the heel, or the curb? Common sense may tell us one, but the sentence’s construction tells us another. Moving the modifying phrase will clear it up:

I broke the heel of my shoe, which was really expensive, on the curb.

Or, an even better modification:

I broke the heel of my expensive shoes on the curb.

Likewise, sentences are easier for readers to decipher if the subject and the verb are together. Because readers process sentences in short term memory first, a long interjecting phrase between subject and verb increases the chance of misunderstanding. For example:

A writer, despite many demands on his or her time that tend to sap creative juices rather than amplify inspiration, must worship clarity.

Chances are good that by the time they get to “creative juices,” most readers will have forgotten the subject of this sentence altogether. Moving the subject and verb together will greatly increase this sentence’s readability (although this writer might do well to put the thesaurus down and use plain words once in a while):

A writer must worship clarity despite many demands on his or her time…

6. Combine Short Sentences for Clearer Meaning: At first glance, this direction seems at odds with simplicity’s mandates. Wouldn’t a short sentence be better than a long one? After all, they’re called simple sentences for a reason.

True. Short, single-clause sentences can be gorgeous. But often, a string of simple sentences may be redundant. I mean, a plain white tee-shirt could be the height of simplicity, but twenty-five plain white tees? Not so much. Consider this example:

Writers choose to write simple sentences for many reasons. One of these reasons is that they’re afraid of making a mistake in punctuation. As a result, their sentences sound monotonous.

Why not put this material in one complex sentence instead:

Because they’re afraid of making a punctuation mistake, writers often choose to write monotonous-sounding simple sentences.

7. Vary Your Paragraph Length: Too many short paragraphs may suggest a lack of development; overly long paragraphs may cause readers’ eyes to glaze over. If every paragraph is the same length as every other, it can feel mechanical. The simple rule? Let content be your guide: each paragraph should have a clearly articulated point. Secondarily, remember all of the adages that praise variety? They’re adages for a reason.

The simplest rule of all is this: think of your reader when you’re writing. Don’t let your reader get overwhelmed by verbal clutter, and don’t let passive or misleading sentences confuse him or her. Give your reader your best, most vivid, most interesting work.

Thanks to Loren for her excellent post! Please take some time to read and subscribe to her site Writing Power.

If you’d like to contribute a post – or even an idea for a post – please e-mail me at LivSimpl at gmail. I’d also welcome the opportunity to write for your site!

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Seeing the beauty in the world around us

I admire photographers because they can capture the beauty in so many things that are 1. either extremely ordinary or 2. obviously beautiful, but difficult to reproduce in a photo.

I stumbled upon a wonderful Flickr stream full of photos I found remarkable, unexpected or made an involuntary smile break out across my face. As I look at them my imagination easily wanders to beautiful places where coffee cups become eye candy, youthful innocence is seen everywhere and raspberries in a bowl become so beautiful you don’t dare eat them.

As part of the mission of LivSimpl is to “enjoy the little things we all too often take for granted”, I thought it would be appropriate to direct you to the site so you can hopefully find some of the same pleasure and wonderment in this talented photographer’s view of the world. And, if you’re like me, you’ll come away looking at things, and for things, in a new way.

LivSimpl

A special thank you to *Cinnamon for allowing me to use her pictures for this post.

Direct link to *Cinnamon’s Flickr page and a better way to look at her photos.

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Back in action…starting Monday

It’s been a very hectic three weeks but it should all be at an end now! Preparations for the big pitch at work have been wrapped up (at least as far as I’m concerned) which means things should get back on schedule now with more consistent posting. Thank you for your patience!

I’m looking forward to a relaxing weekend with my family with whom I’ve had entirely too little time to see over the past little while. Posts will resume next week with a The Finer Things article featuring a very talented photographer as well as a guest post from an English professor. Please stay tuned!

- David

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Why doing "something" gets very little done

It’s common (for me at least) to feel busy, but find at the end of the day I haven’t accomplished much. It’s frustrating; there’s always that monkey hanging on my back, bogging me down despite the fact that I’m always doing something.

That “something” that I’m always “doing” is the key. Because doing “something” is often Procrastination Through Alternative Productivity. It’s when I’m working to keep from doing something else I don’t want to do.

Dreading cleaning the bathroom? I’ll organize the book case instead.

Boring project at work? I’ll sort through some of this e-mail I’ve been meaning to respond to.

Phone calls to return? I think I’ll write a blog post.

Sound familiar?

The result? We do a lot but we don’t get much done and the thing we need to get done isn’t going away; meanwhile we’ve wasted a lot of time doing a bunch of little, unimportant tasks. This can leave a person feeling frustrated, stressed and wondering, “Why can’t I seem to make a dent in this project?” It’s even hard to enjoy down-time when there’s a nagging burden in the back of your head, always reminding you of the work you haven’t completed.

It’s interesting to note that when I hear that nagging, my thoughts of, “But I organized the junk drawer!” never seem to make it go away.

I admit that when I learned about this idea a couple of weeks ago it hit a bit too close to home. I’m very good at convincing myself that I’m being productive (“But creating e-mail filters in Outlook is an investment in time! Think of how much more efficient I’ll be in the long-run!”) and what’s perhaps scariest is that I don’t realize I’m doing it.

So how does one change their behavior to avoid Procrastination Through Alternate Productivity? My best answer is to first identify when you’re doing it and then force yourself to stay (or get) on task through sheer will power. Don’t think about how much you don’t want to do the task. Instead, create a good mental image of how good it will feel to have the project off your plate. What are you going to do when it’s finished? Focus on the benefits of being done instead of what’s keeping you from doing it.

It’s something I’m going to make a concerted effort to work on. After all, if I’m willing to work, I might as well be accomplishing something.

LivSimpl

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